All of Me Page 5

  She wasn’t okay and he knew it. The same way he wasn’t okay, but finding the words to connect what the past meant to the present and their eventual future was too hard. He wanted to just focus on Stella, make their lives about their daughter, but that wouldn’t make either of them happy. Residual bitterness still clung to him when he thought of the enormity of meshing their lives together. He loved his daughter more than words could ever express, but his feelings for her mother weren’t quite that simple.

  ***

  “Should we come back?”

  Charlie looked up to see her brothers standing in the doorway. Smiling, she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and waved them in. She could tell Grant was struggling with the right words to console her, and the distraction of her brothers was just what they both needed. There were so many words left unspoken between them that trying to piece together the puzzle they had become was more than a little daunting. She needed time away from seeing him so loving with his child, time to sort out what he would mean not only to her but also their child. Even as she sat in her hospital bed, sorting through feelings of angst and confusion, she couldn’t deny the pull he had on her.

  Her brothers pushing each other out of the way to get to their sleeping niece helped quell most of the anxiety pressing its way to the surface. Charlie was a little surprised at how well her brothers had taken to Grant. When Grant and his father were first introduced to her parents and her brothers, her anxiety had ratcheted up to monumental proportions. Her brothers had been moderately protective growing up, chasing away friends who got too close. She was their baby sister, and the silence she’d kept regarding the father of her child didn’t bode well for Grant. Much to her amazement, everyone took it in stride. It probably helped that Stella displayed such a force of personality early on. Once she had been checked and given the green light, she commanded the attention of everyone in the room. When Grant’s mother arrived shortly after taking a chartered flight, there really wasn’t much time for awkwardness.

  “Can I hold her?” Charlie’s twin Micah’s question interrupted her thoughts.

  “Sure you can,” Grant replied, handing his daughter over to her uncle.

  “Hey, peanut. It’s your favorite uncle, Micah.”

  “Please. Just because you’re her mom’s twin doesn’t make you the favorite,” Edward mock-scolded.

  “Yeah. Seeing as I’m the oldest, I get to have favorite uncle status. Hierarchy, gentlemen,” Thomas replied with a laugh.

  Chuckling softly, Charlie watched her three brothers vying for the attention of a newborn baby. “As long as you three don’t spoil her too much in your quest for favored status. Even though I’m sure she is going to learn early on to play on your insecurities.”

  As if on cue, Stella reached up for her uncle Micah’s face and made an appreciative baby noise. Which got a laugh from everyone in the room, especially from her father.

  “Well, it seems like everyone is having fun today.”

  Charlie smiled at her mother as she entered the room and walked over to give Charlie a hug. Wrapped in her mother’s embrace, she felt a deeper connection to the woman that had birthed her. Having her own child gave her more perspective on the important role her mother played in her life. Small in stature, with the same coppery brown complexion and dark hair of her children, she was a powerhouse of thought and action. Charlie looked into her mother’s proud face and knew their relationship had evolved into something new and exciting.

  “I’ve got to head out,” Thomas stated.

  “Me too,” Micah said quickly after their brother.

  “Thank you for coming,” Charlie said to Micah and Thomas.

  “As if we’d miss an opportunity to spend quality time with the best baby in the world.” Micah chuckled.

  She couldn’t help beaming at her brother’s praise. As her twin, his words held a special place in her heart.

  “I guess I’d better go, as well. Have they told you when you are going to be discharged?” Edward asked with concern.

  “They haven’t,” Grant answered with concern as well.

  Charlie rolled her eyes as she took her daughter from Micah. Having so many doctors in one family was proving to be hazardous to her mental well-being. Edward was the worst out of her three brothers, and he’d quickly found an ally in worrying with Grant. She knew her brother’s concern came from their love for her and their new niece, but she didn’t want to look too deeply into Grant’s concern beyond his desire to make sure his child was healthy.

  “Edward, dear, why don’t you go with Grant to find out more information?”

  “Good idea, Mom.”

  Micah gave Charlie a wink as he leaned down to kiss their mother goodbye. Charlie resisted the urge to flip him off because she knew he was very much aware that their mother was up to something.

  “Edward will definitely get answers,” Thomas chimed in.

  “If it’s not too much trouble?” Grant asked.

  “Of course it’s not too much trouble, dear.”

  Charlie watched as her mother orchestrated getting Grant and her brothers to leave the room. A sinking feeling began to settle in the pit of her stomach when her mother turned and gave her a far too familiar expression. It seemed the powerhouse was ready for action.

  “What are you going to do about her father?”

  “What do you mean, what am I going to do about her father?”

  Sighing, Claire gave her daughter a stern look.

  “Charlie, dear, that man just went through twelve hours of labor with you. Your brothers had to practically drag him from your bedside earlier, and I’m sure he will be back before we get to finish this conversation. So I ask you once again, what do you plan to do about the father of your child?”

  Feeling like the rebellious little girl and adolescent she been growing up, Charlie broke eye contact with her mother and looked down at her daughter.

  “I don’t know. I actually never expected there to be a father.”

  Charlie felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment. When she first announced her pregnancy, she had informed her parents there was no father and therefore no cause for conversation. She’d been so adamant that she had everything handled. Now that Grant was back in her life she didn’t know what she would do. In the past she would have gone on the defensive because of her mother’s questioning, but as she held her daughter in her arms, she knew her own mother was just vocalizing her concern. Maybe she’d overestimated the new connection she would have with her mother. Charlie didn’t know how much she liked her newfound understanding that her mother’s motives weren’t a desire to make her life miserable, but sprang out of love for her child.

  “Charlie, I can’t fix this for you, honey.”

  She looked into her mother’s face and felt a twinge of guilt. Her parents had been wonderful, but she knew her mother hadn’t expected her to be an unwed parent. At her core, Claire Ambrose was a bit of a traditionalist. Even if her parents supported her decision to have the baby and not be wed, it was not the life choice they had planned for her. Resorting to her usual coping mechanism when she felt she hadn’t met her mother’s expectations, Charlie let anger do the talking for her.

  “I hope you don’t expect me to marry him. Yes, he has been here today, but there is no guarantee he will be here tomorrow. Really, Mother, look at him and his people. We don’t actually come from the same world.”

  “That didn’t stop you from creating this child.”

  Waving her hand to stop Charlie’s shocked retort, Claire continued. “Charlie, I’m not asking you to marry the young man. That would be foolish, but you have to acknowledge he is making an effort. I knew you before you knew yourself. Don’t ice him out. Your daughter deserves more.”

  “I know, Mom. I know.” Charlie snuggled her daughter closer, wishing the right answer would magically appear.

  “Honey, I don’t want to upset you. I just…lord…”

  “You and Stella will get to go home in
a few hours.” Grant rushed into the room with a large smile on his face.

  His interruption was just what she and her mother needed. “Great,” Charlie replied with a forced smile.

  Hopefully, if she kept telling herself that, it would eventually be true.

  Chapter Five

  Charlie was happy to be back in her home. The three-bedroom, Spanish-style house located in mid-city Los Angeles had technically been hers since she was eighteen. But only in the last few years had she called it home. With the impending arrival of the baby, Charlie had made some alterations to the old LA home. She kept the terracotta tile and hardwood floors but made sure she added more rugs to make the space baby friendly. She’d also converted her office into a baby room.

  Carrying her sleeping child into the room Charlie had designated as the nursery, she was proud of her decision to make the room gender neutral in theme. With the help of her friend Craig, she’d painted characters from her favorite children’s books along the walls. She’d chosen Alice peeping down the rabbit hole and the little boy sitting next to the giving tree because she wanted to imprint a love of books in her daughter’s mind early. She was also lucky her mother had kept their baby furniture. Charlie took pride in seeing the beautiful, dark furniture amongst the lively scenes painted on the walls. She had always had an appreciation for family and heritage, and knowing her daughter would sleep in the same bed she had or be changed on the same changing table made her happier than words could express.

  “Look, Stella, you’re home,” Charlie said to her daughter cradled in her arms.

  “Wow, this is something,” Grant stated with a sound of wonder in his voice.

  “Pretty cool, huh? I didn’t want to go with the traditional baby room. My friend Craig is a great artist, don’t you think?”

  “Craig. How do you know him?”

  Charlie was a little surprised by the harsh tone of Grant’s voice. Giving him a quizzical look, she tried to think why he was so upset.

  “Craig is one of my closest friends. We’ve known each other since undergrad. I’m sure he and his partner Paul will make their way over here soon,” Charlie replied as she lowered Stella into the crib. Turning, she clicked the baby monitor on and grabbed the handheld.

  “Is Paul his business partner?”

  Giggling, Charlie looked at Grant with disbelief. She wondered if he was being intentionally obtuse. “No, Paul is his life partner. Craig is gay.”

  Charlie worried momentarily that it might be a problem for him, her having gay friends. Thinking about it, she really didn’t know that much about Grant and his beliefs and values.

  “Oh, well, that’s fine,” Grant stated and leaned down to give a sleeping Stella a kiss on her head.

  “And it wouldn’t be fine if he wasn’t gay?” Charlie asked incredulously.

  “No, it wouldn’t,” Grant replied with a determined set to his mouth.

  Charlie was momentarily stunned by his answer. As she grappled with how to respond, Charlie heard the front door open and the sound of her mother greeting guests.

  “I think we will have to finish this discussion later.”

  Turning, Charlie walked out of the room and down the short hallway into the rest of the house. When she got to the living room area, she wasn’t surprised to see Grant’s parents sitting on her loveseat. What did surprise her was the amount of purchases gathered in the space.

  “Oh, my dear, I hope you don’t mind, but I picked up a few things while you were in the hospital.” Eveline Carter looked at Claire Ambrose for encouragement. “I asked your mother if there were some things you still didn’t have and, well, then I saw some things I thought you would like to have.” Gesturing around to the purchases, Grant’s mother smiled shyly.

  Walking across the room, Charlie gave Eveline a deep hug.

  “Thank you for your generosity. Stella is very lucky to have another considerate grandmother. I’m afraid that between you and my mother she is going to be spoiled rotten.”

  When Charlie looked into the face of the older woman she was shocked to see tears resting in her eyes.

  “Oh, my. Thank you, my dear,” Eveline said, dabbing at her eyes. “Is she sleeping now?”

  Stepping back and sitting in a chair adjacent to the couch, Charlie began to look through the gifts Grant’s mother had bought for her grandchild.

  “Yes. Eating and sleeping seem to be her major priorities right now.” Smiling as she pulled out an adorable onesie, Charlie couldn’t help a sound of appreciation.

  “Oh, isn’t it lovely? When I saw it I just knew that it would be perfect. Especially with her lovely coloring,” Grant's mother gushed.

  Charlie could see a slight blush forming across Eveline’s cheeks. She was a bit amazed a woman with such a gregarious son could be so shy. There was no denying that the demeanor was very becoming on her. With her butter-colored blonde hair and fair features she looked like a storybook heroine.

  “Oh, it’s going to be perfect. I swear she is probably never going to wear anything twice, she has so much now,” Charlie’s mother said, walking over to Charlie and the gifts.

  “Oh, my, look at this little blanket. Oh, Mom, look at the little piggies on it. So adorable,” Charlie squealed.

  Charlie and the two older women soon became engrossed in all the baby paraphernalia. Charlie could see that Eveline had really gone to town with her shopping. The multi-hued clothing made her smile. She’d always been partial to a varied color palette and wanted her daughter to experience the same thing.

  “Well, gentlemen, it looks like I got done with my rounds just in time.”

  Charlie couldn’t mistake her father’s sardonic tones coming from the entry to the living room.

  Giggling, Charlie held up a jumper that would be perfect for Stella in a couple of months. “Oh, Daddy, you have to admit this is the cutest thing in the world.”

  Walking over and giving his daughter a kiss on the top of her head, Steven Ambrose replied, “Well, not as cute as the little person that will wear it.”

  “I see you have some practice with daughters, Steven. I’ll admit before you showed up I was completely at a loss.” Robert Carter chuckled.

  “One word of advice. Beware,” Steven stated, perching on the edge of his daughter’s chair and holding another garment up for inspection.

  “Ha ha. Why don’t you make yourself useful and make me something to eat. I practically starved on hospital food,” Charlie teased, giving her father a nudge with her elbow.

  Steven put on his best “hurt” face and said, “See what I mean? Complete control no matter how old they get. You are in for a world of hurt, young man.”

  Charlie’s father gave her another kiss on the top of her head and began to stand. “Do you want me to grill? Micah and Thomas are both working shifts, but Edward said he would be over later. I can call him and have him pick something up.”

  “Um, that sounds fabulous. It’s such a nice spring day we can eat by the pool.” Charlie smiled warmly at her father.

  Leaning down, he gave her yet another kiss, but this time on the tip of her nose. Even though her father was known for his sardonic humor, she could tell he was bursting with pride.

  “I can help you, Mr. Ambrose,” Grant said, moving toward the middle of the room.

  “Well, first you’re going to have to start calling me Steven. Unless you’re engrossed in all things baby, Robert, I suggest you take the out they have given us.”

  Chuckling, Steven began to walk toward the kitchen.

  Patting his wife’s hand, Robert rose and began to follow Steven into the kitchen. Grant turned to leave but walked over to Charlie first.

  “I do think the things are nice. I’m sure peanut is going to look great in them.” Hesitating briefly, Grant leaned down and gave Charlie a soft kiss on her forehead.

  She was actually a little embarrassed by Grant’s sweet words and gesture. Smiling back at him, she could feel a blush blooming across her cheeks. Watching h
im leave the room, she was a bit confused about the feelings she had for him. She couldn’t deny she was still attracted to him, and the way he was with their daughter cemented a special place in her heart for him, but she really didn’t know what she felt beyond that.

  “Your son is very charming, Eveline,” Charlie's mother said in a wistful tone.

  “Yes, well, all the Carter men have that special charm,” Eveline replied with a chuckle.

  Charlie quickly began to look at the other baby items because she was too affected to look at either woman. She had to keep telling herself it was just Grant’s charm that made him slightly irresistible. Also, hormones were still rushing through her body, and his being the father of her child made things even harder. She was relieved when both her mother and Grant’s began to start talking about child rearing. Once she felt she had gathered herself enough, Charlie began to join in the conversation.

  Time actually seemed to fly by once the women got started. At some point Stella woke up for another feeding. All three women chatted in her little room while the baby nursed contently. When she was done, Charlie carried her back out to the living room. During the time they were away, her brother Edward had shown up and had music playing softly in the living room and on the outdoor speakers. She watched the men bustling about getting things set up for a late lunch and was seized with a feeling of complete joy. Of course, there was still that little voice niggling at the back of her mind about what she was going to do with Grant.

  “Do the men in your family always help with preparing food?”

  Charlie turned toward Grant’s mother. “Well, not always, but if it’s a special occasion they take care of things. Plus there are so many of them it goes faster when they work together.”

  “Well, they definitely have had an influence on Robert and Grant,” Eveline remarked whimsically.